Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the
pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past
the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael
O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool. It says here
that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what
else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new
dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I
remembered that an athletic, good-looking kid with the same name had
been in my high school class some 40 years ago.

Upon seeing the dentist, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to
have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local
high school.

"Yes, I did," he replied.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1960."

"Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
This is a Detective story so pay close attention . . . .

Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Mariners
baseball game. They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniel's
into the game. The game is real exciting and they are immensely
enjoying themselves drinking Jack Daniels' mixed with soft drinks.
Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniel's is almost gone
and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Based on the given information, what inning are they playing and
what is the present status of the game?

 

Think!



Think some more!



You're gonna love it.

 

Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded

A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same
road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the
woman leans out the windowand yells "PIG"!

The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "B*TCH"!
They each continue on their way and as the man rounds the next
curve, he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.

Moral of the story: If only men would listen.

 

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